Howdy fans after my return from Zante. I'm typing this from the
doctors which I believe says all it needs to be said about the holiday.

Just kidding. Nope nothing that bad at all it just seems I have a case
of man flu that my poor body couldn't deal with after having been
abused for 2 weeks. It meant my long awaited return into the arms of
my emotional and Rooney depreived work collegues will have to wait
till tomorrow.

I love the doctors. At this time in the day you get a collection of
old people who all think they're dreadfully unwell then in fact all
that their problem is, to be brutally harsh, is that they're old.
Bodies break down.

You also get old people who bring their grand kids and can't control
them. As seen by a hilarious old couple in front of me.

(annoying kid is pushing a fire engine right infront of the door to
the doctors)
Old woman: no tom come over here you're in the way
Little boy: no it's fine
Old man: no you're in the way. You'll get hurt
Little boy: no
Old man: tom come and see what I have on my camera
( sounds dodgy. Little boy no sells it)
Old woman: yes tom check out the pictures
(little annoying boy carries on playing bashing into my foot)
Old woman: okay play over there but just for one minute

Well done! You won that round with the child didn't you. That'll show
him. God almighty. Yes I hate waiting for the doctors. People who
shouldn't be here, old people with nothing to do and bratty little kids.

I wouldn't mind if there were a few eople who looked genuinely sick or
some well behaved children sat quietly with a book or something, like
I used to be. Instead you get old women angry at the world for the
sheer fact they're old a and little kids who appear to be on some sort
of abusive substance to be that hyper.

I was going to try and start my Zante review entry now but i could be
called in at any time (appears very doubtful due to the size of this
queue- oh good another old woman looking angry and anxious)

So instead I'll review Zante with some keywords before I get around to
the main article

- getting kicked up the arse by hotel security
- drinking with a tranny karaoke bar singer
- cockney guys getting into anything and anyone and being 'cock sure'.
- holding onto the back of a scooter at 6.30 in the morning
- break dancing in front of a booing crowd of people
- winning a bar game of being the guy with the most pegs by
introducing another pack of pegs bought from a nearby shop which in
theory killed the entire game

Ah good the old man has now given the kid his digital camera.
Brilliant. So now after all this time the hunter has become the
hunted. The kid was promised one picture only and is now whining 'one
more' instead of his cheek being punished as it should to avoid a life
of potential crime everyone in the waiting room is saying 'aww'.
They'll be the first ones to cry.

Bet I won't even be given any bloody antibiotics either.