Exercise bikes and twitter is shit

After turning 23 and becoming stuck in a rut it made me realise a few things about myself. Things i am now determined to improve to fulfill my destiny and reach my dreams. A career, a purpose in life, a goal to reach for so i could finally be happy etc.

Nah i'm just bullshitting you. I'm far too immature and lazy to actually go about doing that!

But I have realised I am chronically lazy. So i've introduced a fitness regime to beat that of Prince Naseem Hamid. Remember him? What ever happened to him? Didnt he kill anyone? Or was that Lee Hughes? Well i'm escaping my point. Yeah i haven't introduced a fitness regime second to none. All i've actually done is brought my exercise bike into my bedroom...

It's the ultimate lazy bastard approach to exercise. Not even having to leave my bedroom or cable tv. But instead sat on a bike pedalling in a half arsed manner whilst watching the 50th episode in a row of scrubs. I don't care what you people say its not that funny nor is it that clever. You bastards with your "popular" shows you force feed on us. Yeah i'm not saying it's a bad show. I will watch it if its on. But its nowhere near as funny as something such as one foot in the grave. Good old Meldrew. Underappreciated in his own time. How i would love to be underappreciated.

Talking about a bandwagoned "popular" and hip things. Twitter. What is all the fuss about? All i see is its exactly like a facebook status box and thats all it does. Why would I want to use such a website then i can update my facebook to say "David is....flying home from hong kong". If i did that why would I feel the need to basically do the EXACT same thing on another website? Bullshit if you ask me!

But yeah it didnt stop me making one. http://twitter.com/TheRoonMeister

It's basically something I should update more than this blog because instead of having to think of witty and clever funny stories i can simply give people bitesize rooneyisms straight from the mouth of the grandmaster Uncle RoonMeister. If any of that makes sense to you then you are a legend.

Nothing new to report in my wacky life. Well actually quite a bit to report but unfortunately being a closed book these days (emotionally screwed and immature) and also the urge not to air awkward things on the internet means you have all unfortunately been cock blocked. But if anyone still reads this why not ask me! I'll make an awkward joke to escape said questioning and we can all laugh.

Other than its the same as ever before. I could bore you with the count down to my holidays (zante 2 and a bit months- Krakow in 2 weeks) but i won't because it won't interest you until i return with stories and fine pictures.

I will however end with a fascinating story about my drunken antics. Last night i ended up in the blue angel and then a casino near my work where I spent an hour teaching a blackjack dealer about tax credits and what he could possibly claim. Yes drunk train wreck David was on full force!

Killing time alone waiting for your train is always an error of judgment due to the fact i kept missing the train by minutes due to general apathy (the worst type of laziness) and then eventually I got the dreaded (good) phone call from pete and hatch to say they were coming into town within an hour. So I would need to stay in town alone and wait for them.

What did i end up doing? Well i went to a salsa class and watched happy strange people dancing together. I watched all this in the corner talking to a 60 year old man called Jim. Yes a rather strange, sad and awkward conversation with an old man as we watched a salsa class in a bar. I didnt want to ask why he was there leering at everyone but i could probably guess....alone, horny... Its like a mirror image of my sad future.

Actually i suppose i should ask the question why was i in that bar during a salsa class. My excuse is the drink prices. Honest.

So i waited for Pete and hatch but obviously i felt awkward hanging around alone/with Jim so drank quicker. By the time they'd got in i was pretty gone which made me easy to convince to go to the casino opposite my work. There's something odd about being in work all day and then ended up opposite your work in a casino staring out at it as the sunrises...

I was also denied service at the bar for being too drunk. Before you start tut tutting at me may I just say I wasnt doing anything bad at all. I was sat in the corner looking out the window whilst listening to my ipod watching everyone gamble. I spent nothing on gambling. Maybe thats why they werent so happy at me and cockblocked my drinking fun.

But anyway thats basically my night...now i have to work this saturday which turns out to be a good plan. I have £400 quid in my bank and a £345 holiday coming out very shortly. After i'd checked my balance i thought for sure the money had already come out...damn was my first thought as Dave sent me a text confirming he had not cashed said cheque...i'm also trying to work out whether my £140 phone bill has come out yet. I believe it hasnt. All in all it means i am therefore screwed.

Good news is my phone bills will be cheaper now. The downside is i got the iphone. Oh yes its all very nice except for the texting keyboard but basically it means...i sold out AGAIN. Like twitter. Next i'll be buying scrubs box sets...

Now i must dash i need to jump on my socially acceptable exercise bike to do my popular work out regime...

Damn you roonmeister. Damn you