Turn out was massive so i have to thank all my friends for that who turned up in their droves. In fact turn out generally was huge meaning the lack of seats was a bit of a pain but after a few glasses of wine i didnt really notice where I was crammed in or stood up next to.
Half way through the night me, my mum and my sister went on to the stage to do the raffle drawing. I thought i'd be up on stage for a few minutes. Unfortunately, or in fortunately however you look at it, we had quite a lot of things donated which needed to be win. I was on that stage for about a year of my life drawing little tickets. After about 10 minutes i could interest wane. Even the Dj's stood to one side looked bored and anxious to restart the music. Yet we still had a lot of drawing to go...
I had a goal once i got up stage to give my own little speech. Only a minute or two where i would basically sit in the spotlight and feed my ego whilst thanking a few people. But due to the fact the raffle went on to extreme limits (where actually two ice ages began and ended)and my mum whispering sharply down my ear to be quick (which was bitterly ironic) my speech was more of a sentence and the jokes I had planned were edited out.
The main speech I had planned was going to include some jokes about the length of time the raffle took, a joke about homeless people and a joke about Princess Diana. Perhaps it's for the best the speech was cut down. It could have been pretty controversial. So controversial at the end of it i would look up and see a weeping Andrew Sachs standing in the corner.
At least in my 30 seconds of fame on the microphone i thanked my friends and family for their help and support in the year. Lots of people helped in their own way but all contributed to me not plummeting from my little world. It's crazy how in this world we live in you can thank people and tell them how much you appreciate their actions but in the end of days do people really understand how much they assisted you? Do people really know what would have happened if they hadn't been there? I find words are cheap in these circumstances. Actions as they say speak louder than words. But how do you show this? By being there then they need help? Maybe we only know the real answers to this world by searching our own minds for the clues.
A bit of a weird discussion going on there. Anyway the good point about giving my speech is it gave me the chance to obviously air my views but also use it as an excuse to get off the stage and leave my mum and sister on there. Whilst I strutted off the stage people chanted my name in unison. I have to say it was one of the sexiest moments in my life. Forget sexy nights or romantic evenings THIS WAS IT.
The night spiralled off into a drunken haze of love and generousity. Everyone got pretty much hammered which was a lovely thing to see. At this point the camera came out and began flashing everyone, i kept my pants on though, and i managed to nail over 200 pictures in an hour and a half. So sorry anyone I blinded.
What happens after a charity night, everyone being drunk and merry? Well we head back and drink in my garage. I don't know why i thought it was a good idea nor even why people actually accepted my proposal and came back to mine but it was beautiful. My reasoning was i didn't want to stop the party but i didn't want to make a lot of noise and keep my family up plus the fact we had visitors sleeping over.
So there we were crammed into my little garage with people sitting on exercise bikes and trampolines with my ipod playing on the portable speakers. There was a lot of love in that garage...as well as spiders and freezing temperatures. I have to say on record it was the most absurd ending to a night i've ever experienced. As you might know by some of my stories and tales I like absurd. Being absurd is who i am. Experiencing new and absurd adventures keeps me going. Pete drunkenly falling over in my garage at around ten to 2 in the morning and landing on a trampoline is absurd. Posing with ant killer in photographs with a glass of wine in a beaker is also absurd. So for that I thank you all...
So yeah a successful and very funny evening had by all. Apparently we're doing another one next year. We also raised well over £1,500 which is immense for woodlands hospice.
I suppose i will also have to mention the fact that I brought back the spinarooney under severe people pressure and also the pressure of having drank a lot of wine. My reluctance to do it was intensified by the fact that surrounding the hall were neighbours, mums friends, my dads friends, my dads old collegues etc...you know the people who don't really know me but see me as that 'nice rooney boy' and not the rather 'crazed, drunk, insane rooney boy'. I really didn't want to out myself at a woodlands hospice charity night.
But my ego won out. The circle around me was formed. My name was chanted and echoed throughout the hall. People rose to their feed. I was a complete whore for the attention and I went down on spotlight and sucked hard like a good slut would.
The video was recorded so for all people who beg me in future weeks to spin on that floor once more I'll tell them to watch that video. For there it will stand in infamy and glory throughout history.
Until next time fans,
No comments:
Post a Comment