gate·crash·er (g
t
kr
sh
r)n. Slang
One who gains admittance, as to a party or concert, without being invited or without paying.
That's pretty much what I did last night for the asda christmas party which I gatecrashed for the second year running even though I don't actually work for ASDA and haven't in...well around 15 months. Strange how time flies.
The party itself was decent. Unfortunately with a year having gone by since i last socialised with the asda lot i discovered there were a lot of new people I didn't recognise and probably didn't have a clue who i was. I like to go to functions with my legend established. Its my calling card. I used to be a legend in asda. As popular as Jade Goody with the general public before she became a racist obviously. Now all I saw was blank faces staring back at me with an empty void looking expression.
Thankfully I had enough company to keep me going. Due to the fact I find certain moments in my life awkward my plan to drink alcopops was shot down. I went onto the hard stuff. The rose wine. Now i've discovered a few things about rose
1) It gets me hammered. Quickly.
2) It makes me act like a raging dick head.
It's ironic i drank quickly and i drank the wine in order to counteract a troubling scenario. Yet this in turn caused me to act the raging dick head which did nothing to help the situation at all. If you were you would have seen raging dick head David all over that party. If you're will or Jemma you would have got a raging dick head text. Even better.
So anyway i stagger home eventually in the night and jump into a taxi with no money. Helpful. I climb into bed half dead and wake up at 7:25am with Sarah calling me. If she hadn't called i'd have been screwed more than a common whore on a friday night. I don't know what happened to my alarm. Possibilities include i didnt set it or the more probable i was so drunk i ignored it and slept through ignorantly.
Now tomorrow could be my last day in work till friday. That should be nice. I'm also going to fight the urge to go the blue angel and keep my exploits a bit tamer. Shame that my life keeps having nice twists and turns in order to force me back to crazy David.
At least we're into December and the countdown to getting out of this rotten year is well and truly on.
I have a potentially funny house party to head to for a bit on wednesday and friday a work night out so potentially a lot more possibilities to get a raging dick head. I'll keep you all updated whether you like or not.
Until next time,
The RoonMeister and David
That's pretty much what I did last night for the asda christmas party which I gatecrashed for the second year running even though I don't actually work for ASDA and haven't in...well around 15 months. Strange how time flies.
The party itself was decent. Unfortunately with a year having gone by since i last socialised with the asda lot i discovered there were a lot of new people I didn't recognise and probably didn't have a clue who i was. I like to go to functions with my legend established. Its my calling card. I used to be a legend in asda. As popular as Jade Goody with the general public before she became a racist obviously. Now all I saw was blank faces staring back at me with an empty void looking expression.
Thankfully I had enough company to keep me going. Due to the fact I find certain moments in my life awkward my plan to drink alcopops was shot down. I went onto the hard stuff. The rose wine. Now i've discovered a few things about rose
1) It gets me hammered. Quickly.
2) It makes me act like a raging dick head.
It's ironic i drank quickly and i drank the wine in order to counteract a troubling scenario. Yet this in turn caused me to act the raging dick head which did nothing to help the situation at all. If you were you would have seen raging dick head David all over that party. If you're will or Jemma you would have got a raging dick head text. Even better.
So anyway i stagger home eventually in the night and jump into a taxi with no money. Helpful. I climb into bed half dead and wake up at 7:25am with Sarah calling me. If she hadn't called i'd have been screwed more than a common whore on a friday night. I don't know what happened to my alarm. Possibilities include i didnt set it or the more probable i was so drunk i ignored it and slept through ignorantly.
Now tomorrow could be my last day in work till friday. That should be nice. I'm also going to fight the urge to go the blue angel and keep my exploits a bit tamer. Shame that my life keeps having nice twists and turns in order to force me back to crazy David.
At least we're into December and the countdown to getting out of this rotten year is well and truly on.
I have a potentially funny house party to head to for a bit on wednesday and friday a work night out so potentially a lot more possibilities to get a raging dick head. I'll keep you all updated whether you like or not.
Until next time,
The RoonMeister and David
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