Hello friends and family from sunny gran canaria. Yes i have sunk to a new low by actually purchasing time on a computer whilst the sun is beaming outside and the sea is lovely and blue. Instead i´m in a dusty room with a keyboard whos spacebar is broken meaning a man of my speed and amazing keyboard skills has been slowed down to that of an old age pensioner attempting to load windows.
I was going to tell you the stories from my holiday. Well stories from the first night and have a new day to recap each day. I will still do that but because of the shit keyboard i´ll leave that probably for then i return home. Instead i´ll give you a break down of the basics of my holiday so far as we head into the final night.
Fucked up.
Its been a mega holiday which i doubt i´ll ever recover from. Part of my soul has been lost forever through alcohol, rabid dogs and absolute clowning behaviour.
Here´s some highlights so far to keep you going
- Went out the first night for a walk alone as had only just touched down. Made friends with a bloke called Brian from Ireland. Staggered home hammered.
- Got robbed by a devious prostitute who pick pocketed me whilst i was stumbling around drunk looking for Martin. She just took the money and left my wallet on the floor...how kind of her. I retrieved wallet and woke up next day shocked...
- Got chased with Martin by a rabid dog whilst drunkenly walking down a dark road.
- Accidently entered a German bar and caused major offence. Whilst drunk.
- Fell down a steep road down a hill which had been turned into a river by all the rain. Again with Martin.
-Insulted numerous people by being drunk and bitter towards life.
Yes this holiday i´ve introduced the world to mega bitter Rooney. He hates seeing people happy and nearly every woman in the world. He´s cool. Thankfully the alcohol shuts him up and out comes The RoonMeister every womans worst nightmare because of his sheer twattory. But he doesn´t care...he´s just after the double vodkas and free shots.
Anyway i´ll go into more details once i return on Tuesday Morning. Until we see each other i´ll show off some spanish i´ve learnt.
Hola
Gracias
El Rooney xx
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